I spent my 20 unfulfilled in my relationships. I was pretty stressed and anxious because I lacked boundaries. I struggled to set appropriate Boundaries with those around me. To be honest it was because I had succumbed to a lie that I needed to be the nice girl. You know the super sweet girl who NO ONE has an issue with because you’re just that dang sweet. I remember being at a party once and this guy told me I didn’t need to be there because I was a good girl. As a college freshman, I was trying to give turn-up vibes LMBO! So I worked overtime to get rid of the good girl feel. But after giving my life to Christ I was desperate to get the good girl, fully agreeable girl back. I wanted Jesus and for some twisted reason, I had the mistaken idea that “good girl” was synonymous was NO BOUNDARIES. That was a LIE honey let me tell you! But it took me a very long time to figure that out. It took years of weird nondating situationships and strained friendships for me to finally see the light. My lack of boundaries, my fear of being alone, my fear of being perceived as the angry girl was MAKING me the person I didn’t want to be! I was turning into the girl I desperately wanted to avoid. Because let’s be honest nobody likes the passive-aggressive angry girl. I was struggling so bad. I believed in healthy relationships but couldn’t quite figure out why the majority of those around me didn’t quite fit the bill. It wasn’t until I became so miserable that I was forced to deal with the lack of boundaries and love for myself that put me in the position I was in. In hindsight, the fear of being rejected or alone is what caused me to be okay with not enforcing the boundaries that needed to be set. While boundaries are what I needed during that time, let me tell you… IT WAS so difficult to do! My history of emotional and spiritual abuse coupled with lax boundaries or no boundaries at all left me feeling all types of guilty! So I won’t pretend like this was an easy task. This was a journey of self-love and discovery that has turned into something I am pretty proud of today. Do me a solid share this blog site with those you know who desire healthy relationships with God, themselves, and others but are having a difficult time because they struggle to set proper boundaries.
