I have been bothered lately by all of the memes that promote what wifey material is. What it looks like and the message it sends to single women, well shoot women in general. There has been an overwhelming about of information force fed to women about the kind of woman they need to be in order to be the woman a man would want to marry. What is most bothersome about this is that the standards are so superficial and honestly unrealistic! One that I saw recently asked women who were “wife material”, to call their husband and let him know it was time to eat. First of all I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. UGH! What I hate the most about the messages we are sending women, it that they have to be perfect at all times in order to be found, loved and honored by a man. Look. When a man decides to marry you it should not be because you have dotted every I and crossed every T! If that is the case what happens when you no longer are the epitome of perfection? Are you no longer “wifey material”.
Listen y’all some of this stuff is so silly! But if we are to be honest, its what we have been told for years. This leads to such unrealistic standards that we have for ourselves as women. How we judge ourselves, how we feel about who we are as women and ultimately what we are deserving of as daughters of the Father. If I could share one thing with you, it would be as follows. There is no picture perfect way to “wife” One thing I want to let single women know is that the expectation isn’t perfection. Take a moment. Take a deep breath and let yourself off the hook. What should be the focus of those aspiring to be married, men and women alike it to be a decent human being. Show up to the world as the best version of yourself. Keep in mind this isn’t something you wake up as but something you are continuously evolving into. No one will ever reach perfection but we should always aspire to continue evolving and growing into who God has called us to be. SO....do that. Allow this growth to be seen through you by how you interact with others on a daily basis. Be the best friend you know how to be and always be in pursuit of change, growth and development as a believer. There is something terribly wrong with women being groomed to be perfect for a husband but we rarely hear anything about her showing up a better person in other relationships in her life. Listen, if I have learned nothing else about marriage it is this. Who you are at the core will come out. The facade of picture perfect wife material isn’t real and will wear off at some point. You want to be an excellent wife? Great...as you should! But this won’t come if you aren’t working on you internally. If you are a horrible daughter, sister, cousin and friend. Guess what?! That will be reflected in your marriage too! So, I said all this to say. Don’t ascribe to the message that perfection is the qualifier for being considered “wifey material”. You with all your flaws and quirks are enough where you are. So, God forbid (catch my sarcasm) you don’t call him perfectly to come eat the dinner you prepared for him. Its okay! He will appreciate more your ability to admit wrong doing more. He will appreciate much more your ability to control your tongue when you are angry. He will love more your ability to manage your attitude when things aren’t going your way. This is what really makes you “wifey material.”
1 Peter 3:5
This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.
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